Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust
My friend forgot to secure the latch on his magic card briefcase and all his commander decks are now mixed together. Now he’s playing 1200 card pickup and has to reorganize everything.
Stage 1: using your native language's idioms in English out of habit/lack of knowledge
Stage 2: using English idioms as much as you can to prove that you're good at English
Stage 3: using your native language's idioms in English because they fuck actually
“either take off your cross or put on your underwear” (ukrainian) to say that you can’t have both things at once is my favorite expression to ever exist in any language. i needed to put this out into the world so bad, im finally free.
I'm gonna write some:
"you can't put doors to the countryside" referring to something you cannot control
"to honour which saint?🤨" A response to someone doing such a bizarre thing that you can only assume it's for a very specific god ritual (what my mom says when I'm caught cooking a full meal at 3am)
"my mouth is dryer than Christ's sandals" or nsfw version "dryer than a doll's underwear"
"never say from this water I shan't drink" like never say never.
"to write the dots on the i's" to make a negotiation very clear, point out flaws.
"you have to feed him separately" as in 'this person is a handful'
"it's like throwing daisies to the pigs" wasteful, or useless, unappreciated act
"no one gave you a candle in this burial" you don't have permission to talk/give your opinion
"it's like going to pee and not letting even a drop" pointless, absurd, waste of time
"when the devil is bored he kills flies with his tail" when someone you hate is suspiciously idle and seems innocent (and you KNOW!!! they'll do something)
"my saint went back to the sky" meaning you were so distracted/zoned out that you didn't even notice a saint had descended to help you until it left lmao
"I'm more tied up than a Roman's leg" (refering to Roman knee high sandals) it means you're very busy
love how she doesn't even bother to ask if crowley has a wife or girlfriend. one look at him and it's clear there is no heterosexual explanation for anything about crowley
From above the Blue Whale almost looks like a submarine...........
sees earth's biggest animal: huh. that is big
Not only is it Earth's biggest animal, it's (as far as we know) the biggest animal to ever exist!
Bigger than any dinosaur, bigger than any plesiosaur. How lucky we are to get to see it!
my parents tell me horror stories of how their friends as 18 year olds will take out a 10k loan expecting to pay it off in a few years after they graduate.
and now they're in their 40s, paid back 25k, and still owe more than what they originally borrowed, because interest is so much that even paying more than double what you borrowed as a naive child still isn't enough for these greedy bastards.
there are people I know very well, close friends of my parents, who have spent over half their life (and their entire time as an adult) owing money to organizations who prey on the vulnerable and clueless
student loans should be "I'll borrow 10k from you now, and slowly pay back that 10k (plus a tiny bit more) once I have a high paying job thanks to my degree"
as it is right now, student loans are "I'll borrow 10k from you now, and pay back other 10k every decade for the rest of my life because the interest is so high that you end up charging multiple times what you lent me, all while I'm still working a minimum wage job because apparently you need a masters degree to get anything that pays more than a part time grocery store cashier"
and just a reminder, this isn't a failure of capitalism. this is capitalism working exactly as intended. it is not a flaw, but rather a feature of capitalism, that everyone lives horrible depressing lives where they're one missed paycheck away from losing everything you own or starving to death and are constant in debt with the only escape being dying of a preventable illness that you couldn't afford to treat at age 50, all while 100 of the world's richest people ride their space yachts to mars while sipping champagne made from the tears of starving children.
magic system where “dark magic” and “light magic” are literal terms - dark magic consumes photons, making an area around the spell visibly darker, sometimes to an Extreme extent, and light magic releases photons.
because of this most dark mages tend to work in very brightly-lit areas (either artificial light or outside in the daytime) to fuel their spells and wear and use lightly coloured clothes and tools so that they’re easier to see in the dimness their spells create, whereas light mages wear heavy, sometimes leaden robes (depending on the work being done) and the magical equivalent of welding masks to protect themselves from what can be an extreme amount of light, and sometimes other kinds of electromagnet radiation!
needless to say this is incredibly confusing for anyone unfamiliar with the culture
due to the fact that both magics react with basically all of the electromagnetic spectrum - not just the visible light part of it - dark magic is enormously useful for radiation protection (uv-eating spellwork as sunscreen, anyone?), but also has the slightly uncomfortable effect of eating infared as well - which does have the effect of making areas around powerful or prolonged dark magic uncomfortably chilly.
nothing that a nice fur coat or enchanted light-magic IR-emitting lamps can't fix!
okay this is some truly genius world-building
when your pet comes to you from another room, the preceding moments meant that they were alone somewhere and thought about YOU, an animal brain literally thought about you and came to you to see what you were doing. that’s love, unconditional.
I think people have truly lost any ability to be patient with storytelling.
‘I don’t understand this’ They’ll explain it if you wait.
‘I don’t like how this episode left things hanging’ There’s a continuation next week.
‘This character is flat’ Wait for them to be fleshed out.
So many of the complaints I see about shows lately are people being confused by things THAT THE SHOW WANTS YOU TO BE CONFUSED BY THATS THE FUN OF MYSTERY AND FORESHADOWING YOU ABSOLUTE GOBLINS THE MAIN CHARACTER IS ALSO CONFUSED AND THEYRE GONNA DO A BIG REVEAL AND EXPLANATION LATER IF YOU WOULD JUST FUCKING WAIT
we could go back to telegraphs instead of social media. send your mutuals unspeakable strings of morse code at 4:30am
.- …. …. …. …. …. / ..-. . .-.. .-.. / -.. --- .-- -. / .- -. -.. / -… .-. --- -.- . / -- -.-- / .--. . -. .. - … / - --- -.. .- -.-- / -.-- . --- .-- -.-. …. / --- ..- -.-. …. / -.-- --- ..- -.-. …. -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- / … . -. - / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- -.-- / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. ….
personally i prefer semaphore
so prefacing this with the fact that I know that the fun is sorta taken out of this by me translating, but not everyone will have the energy to look it up themselves, so I figured I'd help out.
Morse code: AEEEEE FELL DOWN AND TROKE MY PENIT TODAY YEOWCE OUCH YOUCH!!!! SENT FROM MY TELEGRAPH
Semaphore: NO NOT YOUR PENITS
i truly believe that if you had 10 girls cuddling together, that after enough time acclimating to one another, the girl laying on the leftmost side of the pile would certainly be able to feel the girl on the rightmost side.
I just can't stop thinking about how in prehistory, for thousands of years our ancestors were probably all curled together in the pure dark. in haphazard piles. understanding one another through touch without sight. drifting between dreams and being lost in the gestalt organism of your family. it feels so deeply ingrained in my bones that something like this was true. a deep yearning that i can't explain.
"how to look androgynous" "nonbinary fashion tips" you are skinny im not listening to you
i just saw a tiktok of "[movie] inspired outfits nonbinary edition" and the person wore the same outfit in different colors 5 times. it was a tshirt tucked into skinny jeans. youre skinny not fashionable
